So here is my Friday picture:
And things you cannot see here are:
- last night I've been using this bellydance belt at the dance class,
- during that class I had an unexpected end-of-term exam!...
- at which I scored 95 out of 100 points *^v^*
- but last semester I scored 97, so I am a little bit behind my abilities (although I've been fighting with my health and immunity problems for the last few months, and, anyway, I'm not doing this for points, so who cares! ^^)
- I figured out that I am probably the oldest person attending dance classes in my Dance School, well... (most girls are between 15 and 19)
- which is intimidating when I am in the changing room, because I am the only one with cellulitis on my thighs and a bit flabby underarms...
- sometimes I wish I had the body of myself when I was 15 (it was 17 years and 10 kilos ago... ^^)
- but, as my wonderful husband said, I will probably be the only one to continue dancing in one years time, when all the other girls get bored with it and pursue other things, as often teenagers do. *^v^*
Anyway, I got my diploma of finishing the Bronze level and I enlisted for the next term classes, which will be the Silver level. Which means a lot of shimmy practice (which I hate because I cannot do this, but it's good because I'll have to do it and maybe one day I will master this move! *^-^*).
[trying to think positive... ^^]
Last night for the first time in my life I saw my real self in a mirror - I saw the face and the body of a woman of 32. Which doesn't mean I suddenly saw an old hag, but I realised my real age. I've always felt young, (I still do! ^^), but I think my sight stopped somewhere around early 20's and decided to still perceive myself as a twenty-something girl. And I'm not her anymore. Which is good, because everything needs to change and all changes lead to something, to some development into another stage.
I've never been an age-freak, I've never cried over the first wrinkle (and the next ones...), I just seemed not to notice the time flow - maybe because not much changed in my life between the time when I was 20 till now (or maybe I should change the light in my bathroom or clean the mirror properly... ^^). I mean, I moved apartments, I got married, I got and lost my office job, ect, but the most important things stayed the same - I've been with the same beloved man for 14 years now, I've been a medieval reenactor and a craftsperson all this time, I kept the same friendships. Maybe if I had a child I would feel older/more grown up-like, but I didn't. I changed internally, emotionally, but my mind somehow refused to notice that fact on the outside.
And whereas I'll always find the little girl in me, or the crazy teenager side of me, I can proudly state that I am a woman now - both in my mind and in my appearance which I am fully aware of. Not that I'm going to give up on improving my figure ^^, but I'll be approaching it with greater awareness, understanding and forgiveness. *^-^*
I've been tagged by Sherri to write six weird things about myself, so here they are:
1. I can sleep even in the most uncomfortable environments, I once fell asleep in a room where my husband and his friends played a very noisy computer game, and my head was just next to the speaker. I slept like a baby! ^^
2. When I'm in a bathtub I like to fill it with water up to the brim and then stay in it till all the water flows out, still keeping an open tap (not very economical usage of water, I know...)
3. My favourite taste is hot and sour at the same time, like Korean kimchi cabbage, for example. In fact it doesn't have to be hot, but must be sour! ^^
4. I can hear and cannot stand some sounds that normal people don't even hear (probably dogs can hear them, too). Last Wednesday at the concert something went wrong with the sound mixer and it gave out a long persistent squeek. All the people around me heard it but went on with their conversations, I HAD to leave the room almost immediately because I felt sick and VERY uncomfortable. If you want me to stay away from you just switch on one of those electronic anti-mosquito devices!...
5. I don't like answering the phone and often don't do this (my friend who is constantly on the phone with somebody cannot understand it...), I prefer to speak with people in person or send and email/text message.
6. I could go to bed with dirty feet, dirty anything else, even teeth (not that it happens! ^^), but I always HAVE TO have my hands clean. If I was on a desert and had only half a glass of water, I would drink some of it and wash my hands with the rest.
Okay, these are my six weird things, I don't know if they are that weird but that's all that comes to my mind right now. If you read this feel tagged! *^v^*
To end up, my winter wonderland:
Oh man, I've been feeling the same as you lately! I'm still 29 but I've lately just felt more aware of the fact that I'm really not a kid anymore (even though I sometimes act like it!). Like you, I'm not upset about it, but it's just a strange feeling to have.ReplyDelete
Pretty snow you have!